


It'll Be Okay

by 5ylph_0f_H34r7



Series: The Blind and The Cold-Blooded [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dirk doesn't know his colors, Ginger!Dirk, It's also kinda rushed, It's pretty tame, M/M, Medusa!Jake starts getting mentioned, Not Beta Read, Surgery, They're pretty OOC, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and quiet, it's really cute, not too bad tho, sorry bout that, there's like three lines of dialogue, trans!Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 02:26:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ylph_0f_H34r7/pseuds/5ylph_0f_H34r7
Summary: Your name is DIRK STRIDER, and although you’ve prepared as much as you can, nothing can prepare you for this life-changing day. Today, you were getting your ocular transplants, and you’ll finally be able to see.You cling to Jake’s arm as he drives, your heart beating at a faster rate than the car was driving.“I promise, you’ll be fine.”“B-but what if I don’t like seeing?”He goes silent. He hadn’t thought of that before. You feel a pang of guilt, sorry for making him worry about you. But that pang is fleeting, as your mind quickly retreats into the fearful spiral of before.





	It'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this feels rushed and quiet, I came up with this idea at about 8:00 and my computer shuts off at 9:30 so I wrote it pretty quickly...
> 
> Also, I don't know that much about proper FTM transitioning, so please forgive me if I get something wrong. 
> 
> I would love constructive criticism, and suggestions for new installments are welcome!

Your name is DIRK STRIDER, and although you’ve prepared as much as you can, nothing can prepare you for this life-changing day. Today, you were getting your ocular transplants, and you’ll finally be able to see. 

You cling to Jake’s arm as he drives, your heart beating at a faster rate than the car was driving. 

“I promise, you’ll be fine.”

“B-but what if I don’t like seeing?”

He goes silent. He hadn’t thought of that before. You feel a pang of guilt, sorry for making him worry about you. But that pang is fleeting, as your mind quickly retreats into the fearful spiral of before. 

“I’m sure you’ll like it. Everything is so beautiful...Including yourself.”

You sigh, and before you know it, the warmth settled against your cheek is tenderly taken away, and you hear the car doors unlock. I’m not ready for this, you think, Jake’ll understand, right? No, you’ll love it, like Jake said. Why would he lie?

You climb out of the car, careful to grab the cane resting at your feet and unfold it after your feet touch the ground. You nod, signaling that you’re ready. You can almost hear the smile on Jake’s face, and your heart swells. You love this dork, whether you can see or not. He takes your hand and squeezes it. Habit by now. You’ve been to the doctor’s multiple times, and even though this was a surgical center, it had the same atmosphere. Atmosphere being the fear of death and sickness infecting every aspect of the place. You’ve never liked hospitals, anyway. The only thing you think of at hospitals are the hormone shots Roxy would bring you to. Shots were always the worst, there was really no way for you to distract yourself from the needle, no doubtedly long, breaking through the skin on your arm and the pain that would follow.

“Remember, I’ll be right here.” He says, and you smile slightly. You can tell he knows you’re scared, but when aren’t you? So many threats lurk around every corner, and you can’t see them. Another pro to surgery, you think.

Jake starts walking forward, and your heart begins racing again, making a thump, thump, thump, in your ears. It became so loud, that before you could walk into the waiting room, you almost couldn’t hear what Jake said. 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” You sigh, wanting to believe him. He leads you to a sit then drags his hand lightly across the side of your neck, his silent way of telling you he was leaving your side for a few minutes. You don’t know how many people are in there, but it feels fairly empty, maybe three or four others. 

He comes back after a few minutes, and you immediately latch onto his side, ignoring the armchair digging into your waist. He eventually notices your irregular breathing, on the verge of an anxiety attack. He panics for a second then cards his hand through your hair, most likely ignoring disapproving glares from others in the room. You were thankful for it, and eventually, your breathing returns to normal and your now on the verge of falling asleep, your eyes becoming heavy as led. 

Of course, when you were finally about to let yourself sleep, someone says, ‘Dirk Strider?’ and your boyfriend stands up, gently placing an arm around your shoulders as you stand up as well. He leads you through the doorway, since you had left your cane in his hands, ditching it for Jake, your only source of comfort at the moment. You wonder why he’s so quiet. Maybe he’s nervous too, nervous you won’t love him anymore, worried you’ll leave him behind in the excitement of finally seeing the world.

He whispers something on your ear, but in your train wreck of a thought process, you didn’t catch it. It was probably a reassurance anyway. Not that you didn’t need them right now, because you definitely do, but you like the silence before the storm, even if it does promise disasters ahead. Jake suddenly picks you up, and you startle greatly. He giggles a bit then sets you down on a bed. Not the most comfortable, but then again, the most comfortable bed was his steadily rising and falling chest. Maybe this is a bit too romantic, you realize, Nah, he doesn’t hear them. Even if he did, it would just make him love you even more. 

“Alright Dirk,” an unfamiliar voice states, :We’re going to place you under some anesthesia, wo when you feel the mask on your face, I want you to count down from 100.”  
You realize that Jake is still holding your hand, and you smile at him-at least where you think he is-and you think he might be even more nervous than you. 

“I’ll be fine,” you smile, “I promise.”

You bring his hand up to your face and lightly kiss his knuckles. His hands are shaking. You want to hug him, tell him it’s okay, you’ll still love him no matter what, but then you feel the cold mask on the bridge of your nose. You swallow shakily and start counting down, no doubt making Jake sweat.  
“100, 99, 98...97...96-” and the world goes silent.

You bring your hands up to your eyes, your brain still slightly foggy from the anesthesia. “Is Jake in here?” You ask, and you hear footsteps walk outside the room, then a pair of combat boots and high heels stride inside. The combat boots were slightly hurried, and were followed by a tight hug, bombarding you with the smell of gunpowder and pine. Jake.

You smile and uncover your eyes, your eyes still closed out of habit. You follow Jake’s arms up to his hands, and take them in yours, bringing them in front of your chest. Your heart was pounding even more than it was before the surgery. Now was the moment that would change your life, determine the rest of your life, and you can tell Jake is thinking the same thing as you.

Open your eyes.

You inhale shakily, and slowly open your eyes. Immediately, you know Jake made the right decision. The boy before you made you want to faint. He was so much more beautiful than you imagined, and he was right, everything is so pretty. You can’t imagine what it’ll look like outside. 

Your eyes gloss over, and you crash your lips against his. “I love you, Jake, I love you, I love you, I love you!” He visibly relaxes, and you smile into the kiss. When he pulls away, tears are flowing down his face. You take the time to admire him. His hair was swooped forward in the most perfect way, you believe he has...pink hair? Yeah. And he’s mostly dressed in blue, a great color on him, you think, his skin is a dark green and almost as you make eye contact with him, his hands cover your eyes. He slips your shades on your face and then uncovers them. You give him a questioning look, and he just replies with, “I’ll explain later.” He climbs off of you, reaching his hand out for you to follow. 

The rest was a blur, but all you know is that now, your boyfriend is all your eyes can see. And it’s wonderful.


End file.
